(As It Conceptualizes Love and Madness)
In the beginning, I started off on the NES. I’m a romantic. My foundation for life is to save the princess; Mario, Zelda, etc.. It took me too long at first to appreciate that Mario had to defeat Donkey Kong to save his casks of wine, beer, cider, pickles, …whatever, so that he could open his subsequent business clearing out sewage lines to fertilize flowers and grow mushrooms. Only then was he ‘Super Mario;’ and able to even try to get a princess’s heart by freeing her from a fire-breathing turtle. I’m guessing the previous guy wasn’t quite bad. Yeah, whatever. And Mary was a pregnant virgin. My point is until you can get your business a bit built up, or at least some degree of success, you’ll never get your ‘princess’ and go on to a much less successful 64-bit car racing career. Nintendo has been a way that I’ve come to relay my life to others. It could be worse. I have a Buddy Jesus who starts out, “Growing up, my dad was a clown. My mom was his sidekick. It gets worse from there.” Video games help us talk with those around us with defences down in the real world; only ready to strike in the abstract screen ahead of them. It’s your call. Do you want to beat your friends at Atari, or play Contra? Nintendo brought co-op games to the TV. It is Nintendo that brought the world hope for an extra life. ‘1UP til you’ve got a block of ice’ as we never said, because it’s a secret. We are the cult of Nintendo where Easter Eggs are found decades later on the way to punch out Mike Tyson.
This book is my Genesis in the canonical sense. Obviously, I do not refer to this in the sense of being Sega’s false sacrament, but this is how our book starts as a matter of text for comparative study. There are bound to be intellectual property issues with Nintendo. I’m probably not being serious whatsoever about actually writing a holy book and have been known to not follow through on grandiose ideas. I fully grasp I am not the prophet Mario or Zelda, but merely inspired by the gaming platform as it helps people socially relate and prepare to find the princess in a world of self delusion and anthropic madness. My gameplay is evolving in ways that don’t require the most advanced system, but creative approaches to life’s rather insane problems. Thus, this is inspired by Nintendo and its affiliates, but not limited by, nor sanctioned, or even licensed as the official word of the business entity who’s name I probably shouldn’t even mention. As such, this shall remain a secret society of nerds, geeks, and other outcasts. In ancient times, I found Buddy Jesus on the couch in my college apartment stating, “and the geeks shall inherit the world. For those who game with others game with me.” I wonder what happened to him. I don’t think he made it through the final levels, before it was ‘game over.’ He brought a sock full of quarters to a home counsel system to buy his way to the end, and that isn’t how the NES works. Money expands your library options, but buy to win had no place in Nintendo honor. You can’t even get Roblox on the Switch.
Being clever and explorative though was encouraged. Mario was built with effort and extraordinary secret shortcuts. Nintendo loves shortcuts. Those are all throughout, and maybe you can expand your game or buy otherwise locked characters. Sure, they unlock the online world of recent generations, and better games cost more. Certainly, the right system will get the girls. Girls love video games and gamers get the princess. I started gaming and ended up married. When she departs, if she so chooses to, maybe I can keep my system and get back to saving my barrels of ale from that dang ape; Donkey Kong.
Joker's Wild 